Archive

CANNOT BE UNSEEN. RUN AWAY.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Neveldine/Taylor. What do you want me to say? It was shit in the first, it is shit in the second. I guess it is like when you go to the toilet. It is okay to shit after someone else has shitted and flushed. But it feels like filth and dirt when your shit lands on top of the others shit. That is exactly how this movie felt. Shit, no flush and shit on top of it. (2012)

Ghost Rider. Mark Steven Johnson. Come on. What kind of shit is this? There is nothing enjoyable in this movie at all. I am too stupefied to say anything about this movie besides fecal references. How did this movie make money? It made loads but its really bad and the superhero is badly portrayed, acted and whatever else you can think of. I am trying to forget this whole experience. If you watch it, you are on your own no superhero is going to save you from this nonsense. (2007)

Pearl Harbor. Michael Bay. This is a movie of no value, although it was made with a load of money and made a load of money. I guess if you got a big screen and loads of megawatts of sound, you should go watch this, it can be entertaining to the degree of overloading your eyes and ears with celluloid kitsch. If you actually are interested to see a good movie about Pearl Harbor, I propose to watch a documentary. The movie is an insult to the historic event that took place. The movie is forgettable, the event is not. (2001)

Battleground. Neil Mackay. What a piece of crap. Everything is bad/crap/shit. Even the forest was bad. This movie is a waste of everything (and that is a long list of things) needed to make a movie. If you want to be insulted as a movie watcher, try it and get the eye-plague. My suggestion is to avoid this movie like a hospital filled with Ebola patients. (2011)

Empire of Assassins. Dou Xiao. Yeah, whatever. If I write anymore than ‘it is a waste of celluloid and time’ it would be too much. The director should suffer watching his movie every day for one full year. There is nothing of any interest here. Bad acting, a story I dumped that looks like what I dumped in the toilet this morning and the rest has similarities to naval floss. If you do watch it, don’t go complain that your eyes hurt afterwards. (2011)

The Last Airbender. M. Night Shyamalan. WTF? This is such a turd that M. Night should be taken off the Directors Guild (not even sure he is a member since what he makes are movies that are definitely not directed by a capable person). Besides it being crap, it actually made a shitload of money. Why? I swear this movie is unwatchable. Not even on a plane with crying babies and you could get a seat in first class but you had to watch this to get the seat. Never. I love cyring babies. Avoid it like the eye plague it is. (2010)

Your Highness. David Gordon Green. I am a Danny McBride fan. But this is just a waste of his talent & image and mostly my time. Some lines were humorous, most were not. There were no highpoints and actually nothing really worked in the movie. Do not start to think about what you saw after the movie. It will only make you more angry at the time you wasted. Danny? Is this a movie which I see before me? (2011)